Competition
After two of my co-workers bid on houses last week, a fire to re-look at buying a house had some gas poured on it. Of course, the two people in my life who have had many experiences (not many but a hell of a lot more than me) with buy a house is of course my parents. So I immediately emailed my mother with an email entitled: OMG I WANT A HOUSE!
Being the practical woman that she is, wrote back saying that she hadn't used a mortgage broker before but had just gone to local banks, but that different areas of the country were different and I should ask my co-workers and friends who bought houses what they did. Then the kicker, she asks, Are you sure you want a house, or do you just want to keep up with your co-workers?
That really made me pause and think for a couple days. I stopped obsessing, and started self-examination of my reasons.
This brings me to a brilliant idea! Someone should make a website where you can compete with other people your own age over what your net worth is. One of my friends is a major retirement saver. He puts away ridiculous percentage of his income away for retirement, maybe at the peril of other things, maybe not, I don't know all his financial details. But he said something to the effect of, oh, I have XX,XXX in my retirement accounts.
Me, being the hyper competitive person I am, was not happy. I had like 4K less in my retirement accounts. I asked him how that was possible that he had saved up so much. He then asks me if I've maxed out my IRA for the year. I was like, Whoa now, I totally haven't. If I max it out for the year I could totally compete with you and have more money!
This is brilliant! Someone needs to make a website that annoymously matches me up to someone that has slightly more money in retirement, savings, checking accounts, slightly higher interest rates etc. Then let me try to 'compete' with them to have more money. I *guess* you could make up the goals, like imaginary amounts that make it *seem* like there is a real person on the other side that I'm competing against.
Competition for things totally works on me. Even if it's saving money, or getting a higher interest rate.
Anyone want to compete with me?
Being the practical woman that she is, wrote back saying that she hadn't used a mortgage broker before but had just gone to local banks, but that different areas of the country were different and I should ask my co-workers and friends who bought houses what they did. Then the kicker, she asks, Are you sure you want a house, or do you just want to keep up with your co-workers?
That really made me pause and think for a couple days. I stopped obsessing, and started self-examination of my reasons.
This brings me to a brilliant idea! Someone should make a website where you can compete with other people your own age over what your net worth is. One of my friends is a major retirement saver. He puts away ridiculous percentage of his income away for retirement, maybe at the peril of other things, maybe not, I don't know all his financial details. But he said something to the effect of, oh, I have XX,XXX in my retirement accounts.
Me, being the hyper competitive person I am, was not happy. I had like 4K less in my retirement accounts. I asked him how that was possible that he had saved up so much. He then asks me if I've maxed out my IRA for the year. I was like, Whoa now, I totally haven't. If I max it out for the year I could totally compete with you and have more money!
This is brilliant! Someone needs to make a website that annoymously matches me up to someone that has slightly more money in retirement, savings, checking accounts, slightly higher interest rates etc. Then let me try to 'compete' with them to have more money. I *guess* you could make up the goals, like imaginary amounts that make it *seem* like there is a real person on the other side that I'm competing against.
Competition for things totally works on me. Even if it's saving money, or getting a higher interest rate.
Anyone want to compete with me?
Comments
The trouble with social comparison is that we typically compete up, rather than down. So instead of looking at people who are slightly below us and feeling fortunate for what we have, we look up and say "I should better than I am".
The other trouble with competition is that it generally destroys intrinsic motivation. So it works great as long as there is that supposed person on the other side that you are motivated to compete against, but the instant you stop getting your "yay, you beat him" reward, you stop playing. Video game designers have learned this the hard way over the last twenty years and that is why the games that see continued use over time have typically been those that encourage you not to "compete" as much as to "explore". Exploration maintains intrinsic motivation, whereas competition doesn't.