I never thought this was what 25 would be like
Life in my 20's so far is nothing like I imaged in grade school or even high school. For some reason when you are that age you believe that once you are done with high school, or even university that you are going to have this great life with no problems. You can do whatever you want, buy whatever you want, be amazingly happy and get everything that you want out of life that your parents refuse to give you because your mom is a "mean mommy." (Yes, my little brother called my mom 'mean mommy' once when he didn't get his way. It was hilarious.)
Fortunately, or unfortunately, it's not like that at all. I've learned so much about myself since I graduated university. I've been more introspective about who I am and what I'm really looking to try to get out of life. Maybe some people go through that at university, but I was way too busy studying and trying to graduate to be introspective. I bet if I went back and read my blog entries when I first moved to Rochester (read: the beginning of blog entries here) that my outlook on life was a lot different.
It's taken me a long time to figure out what actually makes me happy. It's been an even bigger struggle to change my life so that I can incorporate more of the things that make me happy everyday. I've learned a lot about who I actually am - rather than who I wanted myself to be. There's such a huge difference, and I really did not get that at 21. I was still in that phase of life where I was trying to be something. Now, I'm trying to be who I am rather than who I think I should be. It's still a struggle to try to strive to achieve something that is what I think I should be doing. I try to force myself to take that step backwards and figure out based on past experience what actually worked for me.
A lot of stuff has changed, a lot has stayed the same.
As an off topic. I absolutely fucking hate Boston/Cambridge this time of year. People are fucking retarded asshats. I know that you've never lived in a city before and you have no idea how to drive, or walk, or ride a bike, so you just sit there on the street like a fucktard delaying everyone else. I understand that the city is so bright and shiny and new that you just want to look up at the amazing buildings, but people do actually live here, and it's really flipping annoying when you are being retarded. September 1st is the worst day in the world, not only for the students coming in who have to move all their shit, but also for the residents who live here already and are trying to continue their lives. All the freaking moving vans parked illegally and in the middle of the street make me want to scream. No one knows how to drive those ungodly poorly maintained uhauls that they try to bring in months before and there is always still a shortage of them.
I stupidly went to the grocery store to day to pick up some unsweetened chocolate. Of course the store I walked to had either semi-sweet (WTF would I do with bars of semi-sweet chocolate? Wouldn't I want that in a more usable form like chips or chunks or something? I could just melt those if I needed melted semi-sweet chocolate) or this weird new thing that was like a mix of coco powder and oil that they called "pre-melted chocolate" ... somehow I don't think it's going to act the same way in my recipe as the hard stuff. The cookies just won't have the right consistency. So I had to get in my car and go to the big grocery store. Big fucking mistake. It was ridiculously busy. People all over the place with crazy huge amounts of groceries. So stupid of me. I didn't even think about it. A super nice lady let me check out my $2.49 bars of unsweetened chocolate. Super nice. Props to you lady. You were awesome in my craptacular day.
Thanks Mr. CEO for the props today. I appreciate the fact that you are trying to make me feel appreciated for having to work on a holiday weekend. Thanks for having a heart. It makes me feel like I made the right decision working here.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, it's not like that at all. I've learned so much about myself since I graduated university. I've been more introspective about who I am and what I'm really looking to try to get out of life. Maybe some people go through that at university, but I was way too busy studying and trying to graduate to be introspective. I bet if I went back and read my blog entries when I first moved to Rochester (read: the beginning of blog entries here) that my outlook on life was a lot different.
It's taken me a long time to figure out what actually makes me happy. It's been an even bigger struggle to change my life so that I can incorporate more of the things that make me happy everyday. I've learned a lot about who I actually am - rather than who I wanted myself to be. There's such a huge difference, and I really did not get that at 21. I was still in that phase of life where I was trying to be something. Now, I'm trying to be who I am rather than who I think I should be. It's still a struggle to try to strive to achieve something that is what I think I should be doing. I try to force myself to take that step backwards and figure out based on past experience what actually worked for me.
A lot of stuff has changed, a lot has stayed the same.
As an off topic. I absolutely fucking hate Boston/Cambridge this time of year. People are fucking retarded asshats. I know that you've never lived in a city before and you have no idea how to drive, or walk, or ride a bike, so you just sit there on the street like a fucktard delaying everyone else. I understand that the city is so bright and shiny and new that you just want to look up at the amazing buildings, but people do actually live here, and it's really flipping annoying when you are being retarded. September 1st is the worst day in the world, not only for the students coming in who have to move all their shit, but also for the residents who live here already and are trying to continue their lives. All the freaking moving vans parked illegally and in the middle of the street make me want to scream. No one knows how to drive those ungodly poorly maintained uhauls that they try to bring in months before and there is always still a shortage of them.
I stupidly went to the grocery store to day to pick up some unsweetened chocolate. Of course the store I walked to had either semi-sweet (WTF would I do with bars of semi-sweet chocolate? Wouldn't I want that in a more usable form like chips or chunks or something? I could just melt those if I needed melted semi-sweet chocolate) or this weird new thing that was like a mix of coco powder and oil that they called "pre-melted chocolate" ... somehow I don't think it's going to act the same way in my recipe as the hard stuff. The cookies just won't have the right consistency. So I had to get in my car and go to the big grocery store. Big fucking mistake. It was ridiculously busy. People all over the place with crazy huge amounts of groceries. So stupid of me. I didn't even think about it. A super nice lady let me check out my $2.49 bars of unsweetened chocolate. Super nice. Props to you lady. You were awesome in my craptacular day.
Thanks Mr. CEO for the props today. I appreciate the fact that you are trying to make me feel appreciated for having to work on a holiday weekend. Thanks for having a heart. It makes me feel like I made the right decision working here.
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