Sleepless Nights

I haven't slept well since I got back from Dayton. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I think my mind is just wrapped up in a bunch of stuff. I didn't realize how much I missed spending time and just hanging out with Kyle until I actually had to leave; the weekend really just made me happy. That, plus the whole job searching thing, is really making me think about if I am choosing the right things in life. Should I be so career focused? Or does that not matter at all? Should I be more focused on my personal life and what makes me really happy? Before my current job I really felt some job satisfaction, and I would have totally said that I'm young and need to focus on my career, and that my friend will still love me and will wait a few years for me to get over this part of life where I needed to be so career focused. Now that I have no job satisfaction I think that making myself happy in my personal life is much more important and that's what I should be going after. Why does it seem like I need to make a choice between one or the other? Why can't I have both? Insert constant soul searching here. Talk about a quarter life crisis.

It hasn't been a stressful week so much as a crappy week. I have to go to Florida tomorrow morning too, which I found out at like 3:30pm this afternoon. Then fly home tomorrow night. Awesome. Just what I wanted on a Friday - a fucking 20 hour work day. Awesome.

I just want to be happy most of the time. Is that too much to ask? Maybe I'm just a person that requires conflict in life... maybe I'm the one at fault... I need to stop thinking about this.

Comments

Josh Schramm said…
Dear god forgive the cliche but....


When you look back at your life it's pretty unlikely that you'll be wishing you spent more time working.

Now time is not happiness or goals or really what your eluding to i know but i think it still applies in a way. Basically just saying when it really comes down to it your personal life will ultimately be the thing you look back on as your best accomplishment if you let it be that way. People our age like to focus on career a lot because it's new, it's something you can really control when your single, not liable for other people's livelihood.

OK imma stop being all thoughty now.
8:41 AM
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