Ridiculous

Today was a complete professional embarrassment though I made some major efforts to minimize any damage. It was still bad. Really bad.

I don’t even know how to describe how bad it was. I demoed a product that didn’t work completely; nor did it have half its capability, nor could the customer put it through its paces because IT DIDN”T WORK AT A DEMO!!!!! WTF???

I really don’t see how it could have gotten any worse. Actually, strike that, they could have forgotten to send me critical components of the system. I had all the parts except for working fucking software – which was the part the controls the rest of the hardware. I demoed a fucking crippled system. Let me just comment here that I did everything under my power last week to make sure that everything was going to be kosher for this demo – and it still got fucked up. There literally was nothing else that I could have employed form my toolkit that would have helped. I should resign and week early out of just plain embarrassment of the company as a whole. What type of management allows something like that to happen? I really just can’t get over it. I have a feeling that I’m going to be very bitter and angry over this for quite some time. This would have definitely been the straw that broke the camels back if there hadn’t been about four prior ones like that. Jesus Christ I have nothing else to say. Fucking embarrassment.

The most awesome part was the post mortum phone call giving me potential tips (which I had already fucking tired like 18 times) about how to solve the problem. How about next time actually answering your phone when I call you, you stupid asshole? Maybe that would be much more helpful than suggesting dumb ass things to fix the problem when the customer is breathing down your throat and you are under a major time crunch to show them how the shit works. Oh great, let me waste another hour of the customer’s time now showing them the shit that we promised to show them and wasted their entire day on so far. That sounds like a great fucking idea to me.

The great part is that the sales woman that was there with me was quizzing me about why I was leaving – like making excuses for the company is going to bring me back or something. In all reality she’s just concerned about covering her own ass and doesn’t really care why I’m leaving so much as that I’m leaving her in the lurch. The problem is shit like this is why I’m leaving. A crazy fucking schedule, with no tools to complete my job, but rather I’m given broken shit that I have to make excuses for. Fuck that. I’ll find something that I can actually stand behind. If people are not given the right tools, even after they ask, then tell management what they need, how are they supposed to do their jobs? It’s like giving a war vet who had his leg blown off a bandage, not a cane or prosthetic leg, but something that is related to the problem but doesn’t really help anything. The war vet stands up and yells, “I need a fucking new leg!” The war vet then gets told – you’re doing a great job rocking out that nice patch on your eye. Well that’s great that I’m rocking it with what you have given me so far – but just think what I could have done if you would have given me a fucking leg to stand on.

I have to admit that this experience has been really useful in a lot of ways. I’ve learned to work with people I trust, not those who I think are weird – but that I’ll learn to work with them professionally. I need to work with people I trust from the get-go. I need to trust my instincts. I need to work for someone who is willing and able to provide the maximal recourses to fix problems – not put up money on short term solutions. Don’t let underlying problems fester. Trust your instincts. Do what you love – not what you think you should love.

Oh – and to start my amazing day – I ran out the car battery by leaving on the console lights in the car from fucking Saturday. I even went in the car on Sunday and didn’t notice them on. Then when I went to drive to the airport this morning – oh look – the car won’t start. Fucking A.

My life is amazing.