Self Torture (Masochoism)
I really over analyze any situation. Be it a simple situation where someone says something and I read too much into it, worrying about thing I can't change, or stressing out about potential situations. This can be a good thing - picturing the worse possible scenario - which rarely comes true - just makes the situation look so much brighter. Whatever the outcome actually is - it is usually not half so bad as what I picture in my head; so it usually turns out well.
This technique works really well in most cases. However, there are some situation that I know are so unpredictable that there is no way that I can picture worst case.
One of those such cases will happen tomorrow. Our CEO is coming into town and that means that I will get a grilling for why I am leaving. There's no other possible outcome other than having him justify to himself that my current work place is really the best place on earth and that either A) there is something outside of his control that is causing the person to leave (like a spouse) or B) the person leaving is an idiot for not wanting to work for him. There are no other options in the world. There's no possibility that he could possibly be at fault.
There is no way that this situation can end well for me. I think that the best way to spin it is that I wanted to move back to Boston. I don't think that he will accept my real reasons for leaving. Namely those being lack of advancement, lack of respect, lack of support, and not truly fitting into/supporting the current the company culture. When I started to not want to work - that was the point I really started looking for a job. I'm not to the point in life where I'm happy just having a job and being happy with 9-5.
I'm really dreading this scene tomorrow. I have to play convincing sales person for, hopefully, the last time. This time the self torture and trying to see through possible scenarios is just not possible. Whatever this worst case is - it can be exceeded.
Can I also just mention that I absolutely hate it when people tell me bad news - like someone being in the hospital. Then don't keep me updated. Don't they realize that this just makes me crazy worry?
I'm the type of person who, if I can't remember how to make something that I want for dinner, I'll call my mother and page her at work to ask her how to make corn on the cob. It's not because I care that much about how to make corn on the cob, but I know that my mind won't rest until I figure out the answer. Thank god for google. Otherwise my mom would be perpetually annoyed with me asking her dumb questions.
This technique works really well in most cases. However, there are some situation that I know are so unpredictable that there is no way that I can picture worst case.
One of those such cases will happen tomorrow. Our CEO is coming into town and that means that I will get a grilling for why I am leaving. There's no other possible outcome other than having him justify to himself that my current work place is really the best place on earth and that either A) there is something outside of his control that is causing the person to leave (like a spouse) or B) the person leaving is an idiot for not wanting to work for him. There are no other options in the world. There's no possibility that he could possibly be at fault.
There is no way that this situation can end well for me. I think that the best way to spin it is that I wanted to move back to Boston. I don't think that he will accept my real reasons for leaving. Namely those being lack of advancement, lack of respect, lack of support, and not truly fitting into/supporting the current the company culture. When I started to not want to work - that was the point I really started looking for a job. I'm not to the point in life where I'm happy just having a job and being happy with 9-5.
I'm really dreading this scene tomorrow. I have to play convincing sales person for, hopefully, the last time. This time the self torture and trying to see through possible scenarios is just not possible. Whatever this worst case is - it can be exceeded.
Can I also just mention that I absolutely hate it when people tell me bad news - like someone being in the hospital. Then don't keep me updated. Don't they realize that this just makes me crazy worry?
I'm the type of person who, if I can't remember how to make something that I want for dinner, I'll call my mother and page her at work to ask her how to make corn on the cob. It's not because I care that much about how to make corn on the cob, but I know that my mind won't rest until I figure out the answer. Thank god for google. Otherwise my mom would be perpetually annoyed with me asking her dumb questions.
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