Nothing Better

It's amazing how things get really crazy at work - just as your boss goes on vacation. Then you clean up everything - make sure everything gets done - and it's all cleaned up and pretty when they get back. But they have no idea the work that went into it. Ehhh as long as I win in the end.

Is it weird that I am used as a sounding board/trying to figure people out/bitch session for people on the management team at work? It's a little frustrating - I thought bitching was supposed to go up - not down. But to some extent it's a little productive b/c it's trying to come up with strategies to how to effectively manage and motivate other employees. I have my own issues with management/motivation - and I don't think that any of them really know how to deal with it. But it's interesting to see the problems that other people have - and try to figure out ways to get them to feel over it.

Because of the talking though - I didn't get home early enough to get in a run before it started getting dark. So I feel behind on that. I guess it just throws off my schedule for the rest of the week - but that can't really be helped now.

It's really hard to reconcile the fact that life isn't so gradiouso pipe-dream - and the reality of what life actually turned out to be is much different. I want life to be that pipe-dream - I want a dream to lust after and work towards. The problem is that life is much more complicated that school. There's no good resources to go to - there's no good path to follow. You always have to re-invent the wheel because you are not using exactly the same process as the person before. You would think we would have evolved to the point where we were a little smarter - but then life wouldn't be so diverse or interesting now would it? (Can you apply genetic theory to people's goals and ambitions? I will - because I like to live on the "dangerous" side of life.) I'm having a really hard time figuring out what people's goals are though. It's not immediately apparent that some people have ANY goals. I'm not willing to talk about everything I want to do at work - for fear of the reaction/retribution that it could cause - IE I don't want to put my current job in jeopardy b/c of future plans that may or may not materialize. But it seems like some people just don't know and don't care about what they want to do. I can't really contemplate an existence like that. I guess I see life as a "no excuses" kind of thing - either you figure it out or it won't happen. You can't expect other people to try to help you meet your goals - espeically if you don't tell them what those are. Nor can you expect people to help you get somewhere - when you don't know what that is.

I like to think of life as a big map. I know that I'm in NYC - and I want to get to Belarus. There are a lot of roads that I have to take - and a big pond to cross. There will probably be some detours along the way - but there is a destination. The problem comes in when someone hands you their map and says: Please help me. You ask: Where are you going? They reply: I'm not sure.

This is the problem. Are you not sure of the route or not sure of the end destination? I think the problem is that people have no idea what continent their end destination is. Even if they know that they want to get to Europe instead of South America - That's a HUGE step. At least I can give you a compass and point you in the right direction.

You know - maybe you think that Argentina is where you want to be - but you go across the ocean and get down to Mexico and think "hey - this place is great. I don't want to leave. Instead I think I'm going to build a house and a new business here." That's okay - it's about the journey. But in order to have a journey you need to walk out the door - and try to start going somewhere. When you ask for help from other people - they need a bit of an idea of where you are going in order to try to help you. Do you need food? Do you need a compass? A better map?

I can't figure out where you need to go.

I'm having a hard enough time trying to run on the road - while trying to narrow down the final destination - much less figuring out which road I want to take. What's the most direct route vs. what is the most scenic route. I don't have time to figure out what you want to do with your life. Not my problem.

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