Vegas Recap/Analysis via lost-and-gone-forever.blogspot.com
I’m on the plane back – I’ve slept a couple of hours and now can’t really sleep anymore. My thoughts are filled with just recaps and analysis of this past “weekend.” (like lost-and-gone-forever.blogspot.com – analysis of the great TV show LOST – thank god that you don’t actually have to watch TV to see TV programs – I’ve never watch anything mind numbing.)
Though, it’s not really a weekend when it occurs in the middle of the week; but it’s not a full week either. So I’ll deem it an honorary weekend. I think that Jess & Scotts pre-marriage party (Bachelor/Bachelorette party just doesn’t seem to say enough) qualifies.
I don’t want to go into a sordid list of events that happened – but rather just keep thinking about personalities and how such a random group of people got together to chill out in Vegas for a weekend.
The first person I met was Jess’s cousin Ryan. He was pretty chill. He was fun to hang out with and was a good drunk (unlike some other people) which is always a valuable skill with the people you hang out with. He was really cute too – which didn’t hurt matters at all.
Most of the guys didn’t really understand the aversion to gambling – I’d much rather spend my money on something I can see – like the clothes in my closest. I don’t know if I can describe enough – the underlying guilt that I feel spending money gaming. I just start thinking of all the things that I could have done with it that would have added value to the world.
Which is something that I totally struggle with. How do I add value to the world – and actually further myself in society or should I even be thinking about myself – isn’t that we’ll selfish? I think back to that NYTimes article a few months ago about social class – and how just having a bachelor’s degree automatically puts me into the “upper class” in education, which is a really weird thing to think about. Seeing that all of my friends (just about) have bachelor degrees in one thing or another. I struggle with the fight between just being a “do-gooder” and then forcing myself to be poor as well in the process. Or making money – trying to do something good – but at a much higher level where everything “trickles down.” I’ve always hated the “trickle down” theory – because I always feel like everything does not trickle down evenly – and so I’m not really helping anyone. I totally have to admire people like that guy that does microfinance for people in developing countries.
Javier and I had a big debate about this – he was totally on the conservative side of the agreement (topic being the
I have to say it was a much better argument that what I normally get out of Joe – but then we always degrade to childish insults and end up drinking more.
Everyday at work I see people on the lower levels struggling to get by. Some of their struggles are self-created (well most are.) But things like healthcare – which to me has always seemed like a god given right – are not necessarily obvious or expected. Some people I work with struggle with health care debt that has got to be 2-10X their YEARLY salary. Yes – some of these health problems are self created – but some of them are not. Their lives then revolve around this debt and struggles to get to see the “good doctors.” But what makes them not worthy of seeing the “good doctors”? Just because they don’t have as much money as me means that they are not “good enough” to see them? It seems really crazy. I know that everyone can’t go to the “best doctor” in the country – their simply would not be enough time in the day for that doctor to treat everyone.
I really am trying to wrap my head around the whole problem. Part of it is ignorance as to what the issues are surrounding certain treatments – and that we can’t “cure” everything. Yes I know that this is the 21st century – but that doesn’t mean that we have cures for the million and fifty seven diseases that are out there or that we can evolve our drugs as fast as cells that multiply a couple of times a day. Part of the problem is the expectation that doctors can make everything go away. Part of it is thinking that all doctors are on the same level in terms of ability and bedside manor. Personally I could give two shits about bedside manor with my doctor. Just tell me that I’m stupid or wrong and that I either need to change my behavior or whatever. I don’t need someone tap dancing around the truth – I get enough of that shit at work I don’t need it at my health care provider. I just want the blunt truth. I can face facts and get over the emotional portion and I won’t blame you for it.
Maybe I’m just suffering from survivor’s guilt. I feel guilty for having more money and not doing enough to help out other people who don’t have the same privileges or upbringing that I did; much less the people that have way more money that we did when I grew up.
It’s always hard for me to think out and fully explain the “gut” feelings that I have. I just feel like it’s wrong that when it comes to life and death – that money has anything to do with it.
I guess it could just be a financial survival of the fittest. But is that what
Everything lays out into a kind of social Darwinism instead of a physical evolution. I think though, that social Darwinism has a major contribution to physical evolution as well. The people with the most money then have access to the best physical care – best nutrients from good food because they can afford it, and good medical advise – and thus hopefully good behaviors to keep themselves healthy and live longer. Because of social Darwinism the people with the best genes (IE have the lowest incidence of genetic diseases and predispositions) may not be the people that live the longest. You would think that living longer would be a measure of physical evolution – but maybe it’s not and I’m just going about this logic totally wrong.
Side note: I really hate the dumb ass people in airports. It’s like they’ve never been to a city before. WTF are you doing standing on the moving sidewalk??!?!?! The whole fucking point is so that you can walk faster – not so that you can sit you fat ass on the LEFT hand side of the walk way – or better yet right in the center – getting in everyone’s way. How come it is always the people that look like they came out of the middle of a farm field and that this is their first time traveling to the “big city.” It’s like those people in
Clearly – I got a little distracted – and didn’t really comment on Javier. He was really nice and sweet – and a little self-conscious – unless you got him talking about something that he felt strongly about – then it was like all of those internal thoughts went away – and he just acted without thinking. He’s awesome after a couple of beers/drinks and he forgets about things and just relaxes. When he has those self-conscience moments you don’t know whether to shake him and tell him to get out of his own head – or to kiss him on the cheek and tell him that it makes him endearing.
Alfardo is still a mystery to me. He would just disappear for long periods of time w/o telling anyone in the group. Long periods of time not meaning like hours – I’m talking like days. He made the comment that Jess & Scott work really well together – that Jess doesn’t get mad if Scott wants to go off and do something with his friends – but rather just gives him a kiss and tells him to have fun. He also made it a point to tell Jess how devoted Scott was to her – and that he’s never cheated on her or even give any semblance of wanting to while he’s been with her.
Those comments both intrigued me and kind of saddened me at the same time. I’m not sure if it’s the culture different (language barrier? Ha!) Or if that’s just how his life has turned out – or if it’s some combination of both. I guess I would just expect those things out of a relationship – if I don’t get those the relationship never lasts very long. What kinds of life experiences have made him think that those things were common?
Maybe I’m the naive one though. Maybe that’s not what most people expect or even want out of marriage/a relationship. I don’t know. Idealism always has a way of clashing with realism – but I don’t know if I’m willing to settle with realism – ever.
The Scott comment of the trip: “I know how to pack well – I have to do it all the time. You just have to push and cram. Kind of like sex.”
Julia & Ash – Since they came as a unit I feel like I should comment on them as a unit – but really they are two really awesome individuals. I have to admit that I was super intrigued by both of their jobs – though Ash’s is the most provocative as she works at an upscale sex shop. You really just want to ask her tons of questions about the funny things that have happened or just interesting stories – you’ve got to have interesting stories with such an interesting job right? I would have felt kind of rude the first time meeting her just asking obsessive questions about her job while on vacation. They were both just really cool and chill and fun to hang out with.
Will – I was just amazed at the organization skill that he has. I have to admire it – he really did a good job planning things out. I’m not such a good planner – I didn’t even print off half of my flight/hotel information – I just showed up. It was really interesting to hear his views on his job and business as a whole. We really think a lot alike – so I almost felt like I was talking to a grown up version of me in like 10 years. It was a little creepy seeing your future acted out in front of you.
Jon – I can’t do anything other than shake my head. Let’s just say – what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas (i.e. I don’t want to think about some of it ever again.)
It was a really interesting group to go with – very different – yet all really cool to hang out with.
We should totally do that more often. I’m wicked excited to see them all again in a month.
Vegas was such an interesting cross section of
This has also been a rather enlightening trip in terms of personal shit as well. When you hang out with successful people doing stuff that they love to do – mixing business with fun – it makes you start thinking about what you want to do that is business yet fun. It makes you start thinking about what you really want out of life – and what you really enjoy doing. You also have to take a hard look at yourself to see if you really like the job that you are doing – and if you don’t then what would make you happy. Screw the people that you work with because they will come and go. You ultimately have to be happy with the tasks at hand and with what you have to do on a daily basis. You don’t want to “have” to go to work – I want to “want” to go to work everyday. It shouldn’t feel like slaving away. Ultimately does it matter how much money you have or how “prestigious” your job is? Not really. What really matters is that you are happy with your life – and your job is a big part of that for me. It really helps define who I am.
It’s amazing how a couple of days can really change your perspective on things. A simple vacation is not always simple and not always just a vacation. It’s really exhausting thinking about everything. I feel almost like it was a real life slap upside the head like the thinly veiled parable ‘Who moved my cheese.’ I totally wish I could get some of the people I work with to read that book and actually recognize themselves as characters in it. I do fall into hem and haw trap occasionally and need the mental slap.
I guess I get too into my head sometimes too. Maybe I should just stop over thinking things.
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