RAVE: 401K Matching!!!!!!!!
So we totally did our State of the Company address today. Amusing as always. I said I was sad about not being bought out yet - and said "tear" with the motion down my face. He then comments "we fire people who cry." Ummm why does he ALWAYS pick on me? After all of these fire side chats the rest of the company things I have no friends, get to travel to lots of fun places all the time (you mean DC that like one time... a year and a half ago....), and now that I'm going to get fired b/c I'm crying over not being bought out yet.
I can't leave this stand. I don't care if you are the CEO and hold the majority share. I'm going to give you shit - it's just too big of an opening. I just can't help myself - I can't hold back when you give me such a large opening. What are you going to do? Fire me? That's not going to happen - I'm too good at my job and too valuable at the company. So I pull out the whole fake tears - sad face - scrunch up - getting the tears to start welling up, getting flush in the face - the whole nine yards. I'm trying really hard not to laugh - so this just adds to the effect making it look like I'm starting to sob (I'm really good at this... I practice.) Then my whole plot of making him feel guilty is RUINED! RUINEDDDDD!!!!! by the VP of Engineering. He totally revealed my secrets by saying "She can't keep this up much longer - she's only got about 30 more seconds before she starts laughing."
HEY!!! My guilt trip was TOTALLY working up to that point. He was starting to look guilty and that panicky face that guys get when they cause a girl to cry and don't really know what to do. That king of "oh shit" look. Not many people can cause the CEO to have the "oh shit" look on his face. I'm the MASTER!
It's on with the VP of Engineering though. IT'S ON!
No one screws with me screwing with other people. Now I need to go screw with him. The problem is that when other people play jokes on Mr VP he always suspects me first. It's never been me playing pranks. He just always thinks that it is. I don't know why. I'm always innocent.
Now I've got a new target. VP of Engineering - Watch out. I've got some good pranks up my sleeve for your lack of support when I was pulling a prank.
On to the title: They announced that they are going to contribute to our 401K now! Yeah! After 6+months of heavy campaigning by yours truly (are you joking me? I can't leave anything alone if I want it changed. I'm tenacious.) we actually get a company contribution. Yeah for retirement with the help of my company now! Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
I can't leave this stand. I don't care if you are the CEO and hold the majority share. I'm going to give you shit - it's just too big of an opening. I just can't help myself - I can't hold back when you give me such a large opening. What are you going to do? Fire me? That's not going to happen - I'm too good at my job and too valuable at the company. So I pull out the whole fake tears - sad face - scrunch up - getting the tears to start welling up, getting flush in the face - the whole nine yards. I'm trying really hard not to laugh - so this just adds to the effect making it look like I'm starting to sob (I'm really good at this... I practice.) Then my whole plot of making him feel guilty is RUINED! RUINEDDDDD!!!!! by the VP of Engineering. He totally revealed my secrets by saying "She can't keep this up much longer - she's only got about 30 more seconds before she starts laughing."
HEY!!! My guilt trip was TOTALLY working up to that point. He was starting to look guilty and that panicky face that guys get when they cause a girl to cry and don't really know what to do. That king of "oh shit" look. Not many people can cause the CEO to have the "oh shit" look on his face. I'm the MASTER!
It's on with the VP of Engineering though. IT'S ON!
No one screws with me screwing with other people. Now I need to go screw with him. The problem is that when other people play jokes on Mr VP he always suspects me first. It's never been me playing pranks. He just always thinks that it is. I don't know why. I'm always innocent.
Now I've got a new target. VP of Engineering - Watch out. I've got some good pranks up my sleeve for your lack of support when I was pulling a prank.
On to the title: They announced that they are going to contribute to our 401K now! Yeah! After 6+months of heavy campaigning by yours truly (are you joking me? I can't leave anything alone if I want it changed. I'm tenacious.) we actually get a company contribution. Yeah for retirement with the help of my company now! Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
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