Honesty?
It would be a beautiful and horrible thing if people were completely honest with each other. Can you imagine? People would never have to guess at work if they were doing a good job or not - you would never have to worry about being good in bed - you would know. Think of international politics if people were really completely honest with each other! The amazing things that could come out of it, the lack of cultural clashes and expectations would be brought tumbling to the ground. It could create mass havoc as well.
Can you imagine telling your boss exactly what you thought of him/her? Or perhaps Baby Bush telling the people of the middle east/American people what his true intentions were?
Hilarity could ensue in so many situations. Ever been in a car with a group of people - someone farts and everyone looks at each other and denies it? Think of if the rouge admitted it. Would they get kicked out of the car? Would everyone just crack up b/c it would be so unexpected. It might be so truly honest that time and space would stop because it had been upended.
It could open up more doors than you are really willing to open as well. When you politely ask your cub neighbor at work how their weekend was. You don't really mean it or care most of the time - you're either being polite or you're just more interested in telling that person about your weekend stories. What happens if the person actually told you all their escapades? You might find that the near-retiree is really a sex addict that had a crazy swinger's party over the weekend - and oh by the way he's having another one next weekend. You interested?
How about the guy at the coffee shop. Who asks you how you are before he takes your order. Does he really want to know that you are PMSing and bloated, and you know you shouldn't have that 450 calorie shake that you've been craving - but damn it these cramps must burn that off in a day right? I would love to see a shot of that face when you blurted that one out.
It's amazing what a little bit of honestly can do to a completely polite work conversation. A little bit can pave the road of friendship and a closer personal connection - and in turn a closer customer/vendor business relationship resulting in more sales. The scary part is - what happens when one side over-reveals? I guess that's the difference between the people who are good at dealing with people and those who aren't. The ones that aren't either don't share at all or over-share resulting in one of the previous scenarios - just not quite as embarrassing.
I've always wondered why some people are better at interpersonal relationships. I can't say that I'm a champ. But what makes a champ? Is it inertia learned from years of practice? A completely huge sak (think Lex you girls from BU.) Or is it something deeper? A more in depth understanding of humanity? A bigger/better sense of play at work? Maybe they've taken too many psych classes and know how the brain works too well? I don't know if any of these are it - but it's pretty amazing how ever it happens.
What also amazes me is how some people react to honesty. Some think that the person is being insincere and will never believe true praise from someone. Others will think that every word spoken about them is praise and that disparaging remarks about them aren't true. I have to say I can much more easily identify with the former and I don't at all understand the latter. How do some people life in such an alternate reality where they can't see the writing on the wall, never think that they did a bad job or made a mistake, or are they really that clueless? It really dumbfounds me.
In other notes - the Digg post from the NYTimes about class was really interesting. I had never really thought about it before. But when you actually run your numbers - I bet most of you are in the upper two levels - it's kind of crazy to think what life would be like if you were in the bottom ones. I can't say that I feel bad - because I worked my bum off to get where I am and make a lot of sacrifices along the way. It's a little scary at the same time. If the classes are evenly split up with the US population - and I'm already near the top - it means that if I want to advance in any of those categories before I die that I really have a steep rock face to climb. It's like climbing to the top of the pyramid - there are less people to fight - but the fights are a lot more vicious and you don't necessarily come out the same after them (Harry Potter reference anyone????)
It's really interesting to think about. The graph of how lower class people in four generations can easily move into the upper classes is very true. My great grandparents came to American from Germany and were pretty poor farmers. My grandparents had a number of jobs - and were solidly middle classes. My aunts and uncles + parents are a mix of middle, upper middle, and upper class. So far my cousins and I seem to be in the upper middle/upper class ranges - though it's hard to tell b/c there are so few of us that have gotten out of college and are on our own now. I think a few more years with a few more people graduating will give more information. It's weird to think that a couple of farmers produced a family of doctors, nurses, lawyers, engineers, teachers, mechanics, artists, scientists, accountants, and computer programmers. Funnily enough I don't see any day laborers or office staff on that roster - even though the poor farmers were only a few generations previously. So the questions really comes in: Are we really living the American dream? Or are we living our own?
Can you imagine telling your boss exactly what you thought of him/her? Or perhaps Baby Bush telling the people of the middle east/American people what his true intentions were?
Hilarity could ensue in so many situations. Ever been in a car with a group of people - someone farts and everyone looks at each other and denies it? Think of if the rouge admitted it. Would they get kicked out of the car? Would everyone just crack up b/c it would be so unexpected. It might be so truly honest that time and space would stop because it had been upended.
It could open up more doors than you are really willing to open as well. When you politely ask your cub neighbor at work how their weekend was. You don't really mean it or care most of the time - you're either being polite or you're just more interested in telling that person about your weekend stories. What happens if the person actually told you all their escapades? You might find that the near-retiree is really a sex addict that had a crazy swinger's party over the weekend - and oh by the way he's having another one next weekend. You interested?
How about the guy at the coffee shop. Who asks you how you are before he takes your order. Does he really want to know that you are PMSing and bloated, and you know you shouldn't have that 450 calorie shake that you've been craving - but damn it these cramps must burn that off in a day right? I would love to see a shot of that face when you blurted that one out.
It's amazing what a little bit of honestly can do to a completely polite work conversation. A little bit can pave the road of friendship and a closer personal connection - and in turn a closer customer/vendor business relationship resulting in more sales. The scary part is - what happens when one side over-reveals? I guess that's the difference between the people who are good at dealing with people and those who aren't. The ones that aren't either don't share at all or over-share resulting in one of the previous scenarios - just not quite as embarrassing.
I've always wondered why some people are better at interpersonal relationships. I can't say that I'm a champ. But what makes a champ? Is it inertia learned from years of practice? A completely huge sak (think Lex you girls from BU.) Or is it something deeper? A more in depth understanding of humanity? A bigger/better sense of play at work? Maybe they've taken too many psych classes and know how the brain works too well? I don't know if any of these are it - but it's pretty amazing how ever it happens.
What also amazes me is how some people react to honesty. Some think that the person is being insincere and will never believe true praise from someone. Others will think that every word spoken about them is praise and that disparaging remarks about them aren't true. I have to say I can much more easily identify with the former and I don't at all understand the latter. How do some people life in such an alternate reality where they can't see the writing on the wall, never think that they did a bad job or made a mistake, or are they really that clueless? It really dumbfounds me.
In other notes - the Digg post from the NYTimes about class was really interesting. I had never really thought about it before. But when you actually run your numbers - I bet most of you are in the upper two levels - it's kind of crazy to think what life would be like if you were in the bottom ones. I can't say that I feel bad - because I worked my bum off to get where I am and make a lot of sacrifices along the way. It's a little scary at the same time. If the classes are evenly split up with the US population - and I'm already near the top - it means that if I want to advance in any of those categories before I die that I really have a steep rock face to climb. It's like climbing to the top of the pyramid - there are less people to fight - but the fights are a lot more vicious and you don't necessarily come out the same after them (Harry Potter reference anyone????)
It's really interesting to think about. The graph of how lower class people in four generations can easily move into the upper classes is very true. My great grandparents came to American from Germany and were pretty poor farmers. My grandparents had a number of jobs - and were solidly middle classes. My aunts and uncles + parents are a mix of middle, upper middle, and upper class. So far my cousins and I seem to be in the upper middle/upper class ranges - though it's hard to tell b/c there are so few of us that have gotten out of college and are on our own now. I think a few more years with a few more people graduating will give more information. It's weird to think that a couple of farmers produced a family of doctors, nurses, lawyers, engineers, teachers, mechanics, artists, scientists, accountants, and computer programmers. Funnily enough I don't see any day laborers or office staff on that roster - even though the poor farmers were only a few generations previously. So the questions really comes in: Are we really living the American dream? Or are we living our own?
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