Procrastination
I'm a master, a goddess, a princess of procrastination. It's amazing the things that you will find for yourself to do when you are avoiding something else. I've been trying to keep myself distracted this weekend over the whole getting ready to negotiate my salary thing/moving/apartment/job freakout.
If you don't know me in real life I like to obsess about stuff. It's not really worrying exactly - but it's more on the order of just thinking of a million different senarios and trying to figure out if I've seen the problem from every camera angle possible. It's like those movie directors who have to get every shot of every camera angle and it takes them forever. Then in the editing room they have a hard time deciding which angle is best. They are usually okay with scrapping a couple of the angles right off the bat. Then they tend to debate between two similar angles - that ultimately aren't that different and don't really matter in the grand scheme of the movie. That's me. I obsess. I'm not worried about negotiations, I'm not worried about what I said or didn't say, I'm not worried about moving to another part of the country. I'm just not that worried. But I do like to obsesses about stuff like where I could live - what my imaginary budget could look like which each apartment, how that would affect my savings plans for a down payment on a house. How long it would take me to get to work from each place, how close it is to fun stuff, just general obsession. In the end I'll pick something -- it won't really matter b/c I'll have narrowed it down between just a couple possibilities with each of their pros and cons that never really line up to make it possible to come up with a logical front runner. I guess I could come up with a numerical rating system - but I think that just might be going a little too far.
To distract myself from this obsessing (and subsequently allow me to shut down my brain and stop thinking) I watch a lot of movies. I never buy a movie unless I know I will watch it all the time. I can easily sit and "watch" 5 or 6 movies in a day.
That seems ridiculous you say. Oh no no no my friend. Not when you are me. Watching a movie is just like me listening to a converstation. I'm usually thinking about something else that's relatively related - but then that tangent moves me on a path that the conversation is not going. Pretty quickly I start to blurt out comments that have nothing to do with the topic at hand - or answer a question that was not asked. Stuff like that. Or just blatently ignore the person and start doing other work if they aren't saying anything interesting or are annoying. That never goes over well if the person actually realizes that you are no longer paying attention to them. A couple of the Sales people I work with tend to just talk and talk. After a while I zone out and start typing on my computer doing other work, etc. When they start hearing the tappity tappity tap of my keyboard they know they have lost me and usually just give up and move on to something else. They know it's useless to try to get me back at that point. I'm lost in my own world.
That's the sad thing about my "watching' movies though. Sometimes I'm so busy doing something else that I forget that I put it on - and pretty soon the movies over and I didn't really take the chance to enjoy it. I can't just restart it - b/c I've heard small clips and parts that bored their way into my skull during some pause in thought - and I feel guilty re-watching something that I've just seen b/c I didn't pay attention to it. It seems like if I put the time into putting it in the DVD player that I should have at least watched it. I disappoint myself by not watching it. But that doesn't make a lot of logical sense does it? That I disappoint myself by not watching a movie that I put in. But there it is folks. I don't try to explain myself - I just state the facts.
On a side note - if this whole AZ thing works out - Anyone want my snow shovel?
If you don't know me in real life I like to obsess about stuff. It's not really worrying exactly - but it's more on the order of just thinking of a million different senarios and trying to figure out if I've seen the problem from every camera angle possible. It's like those movie directors who have to get every shot of every camera angle and it takes them forever. Then in the editing room they have a hard time deciding which angle is best. They are usually okay with scrapping a couple of the angles right off the bat. Then they tend to debate between two similar angles - that ultimately aren't that different and don't really matter in the grand scheme of the movie. That's me. I obsess. I'm not worried about negotiations, I'm not worried about what I said or didn't say, I'm not worried about moving to another part of the country. I'm just not that worried. But I do like to obsesses about stuff like where I could live - what my imaginary budget could look like which each apartment, how that would affect my savings plans for a down payment on a house. How long it would take me to get to work from each place, how close it is to fun stuff, just general obsession. In the end I'll pick something -- it won't really matter b/c I'll have narrowed it down between just a couple possibilities with each of their pros and cons that never really line up to make it possible to come up with a logical front runner. I guess I could come up with a numerical rating system - but I think that just might be going a little too far.
To distract myself from this obsessing (and subsequently allow me to shut down my brain and stop thinking) I watch a lot of movies. I never buy a movie unless I know I will watch it all the time. I can easily sit and "watch" 5 or 6 movies in a day.
That seems ridiculous you say. Oh no no no my friend. Not when you are me. Watching a movie is just like me listening to a converstation. I'm usually thinking about something else that's relatively related - but then that tangent moves me on a path that the conversation is not going. Pretty quickly I start to blurt out comments that have nothing to do with the topic at hand - or answer a question that was not asked. Stuff like that. Or just blatently ignore the person and start doing other work if they aren't saying anything interesting or are annoying. That never goes over well if the person actually realizes that you are no longer paying attention to them. A couple of the Sales people I work with tend to just talk and talk. After a while I zone out and start typing on my computer doing other work, etc. When they start hearing the tappity tappity tap of my keyboard they know they have lost me and usually just give up and move on to something else. They know it's useless to try to get me back at that point. I'm lost in my own world.
That's the sad thing about my "watching' movies though. Sometimes I'm so busy doing something else that I forget that I put it on - and pretty soon the movies over and I didn't really take the chance to enjoy it. I can't just restart it - b/c I've heard small clips and parts that bored their way into my skull during some pause in thought - and I feel guilty re-watching something that I've just seen b/c I didn't pay attention to it. It seems like if I put the time into putting it in the DVD player that I should have at least watched it. I disappoint myself by not watching it. But that doesn't make a lot of logical sense does it? That I disappoint myself by not watching a movie that I put in. But there it is folks. I don't try to explain myself - I just state the facts.
On a side note - if this whole AZ thing works out - Anyone want my snow shovel?
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