Typical Car Ride

If anyone has ever ridden as a passanger in my car -- let me just apologize now. I know it's a horrible experience. But just the act of turning the key in the ignition does something to me. I don't know exactly what it is - hormones, adreneline, pent up undeniable rage against life? Whatever it is, it causes me to act like a raving lunatic every time I step on the gas peddle.

My typical drive to work in the morning goes something like this: Turn on car and start to defrost -- start scrapping off the windows, I clearly leave the snow to blow off the rest of the car when I get to the expressway. It's not that I like to leave it on and having it blowing all over, I just know that some people at work absolutely despise people who don't brush off their cars ("Why doesn't everyone just put their car in the garage at night? um... I don't have a response for that one.) so I do it just in case one of the happens to drive down my street after I leave in the morning and just happens to be the car right behind me. It would only take a couple of seconds to brush it off -- but I really want to nail the people at work behind me if, on the off chance, they ever happen to be on my street at the exact moment that I leave the house in the morning.

The scrapping every morning really pisses me off. It just induces additional rage to an already hate filled body. Opening wide the wound and angering the mother bear who is just waiting to lash out at someone.

I pull a U-turn in my street -- attempting to cut someone off who is also rushing to work. Sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn't. Then I effectively get stopped by at least 2 of the four traffic lights on the way to the express way. These traffic lights make me really angry for two reasons. 1) The are so freaking close together there should never be any reason for me to ever catch more than one. I am gaurneteed to catch at least 2 -- usually three of the four. On occation I have even been so lucky to catch all four lights! 2) I always get stopped at the third light which means my car is going downhill. The reason this is a problem is because it's so freaking cold the car wants to shut down -- so it starts to rumble in that distintive sound saying "either move or I'm going to stall" so the because I am stopped by the stupid light I have to two foot the brake and the gas. Trying to gently rev the engine so that the car doesn't stall -- and GOd knows if I would ever be able to start it again, while also shoving the brake to the floor so that I don't accidentally hit the gas to hard and go screaming into the middle of the not so busy intersection.

Why is there a light that is ALWAYS red at a not too busy intersection during morning rush hour? I have no idea.

Then I turn onto the expressway -- which has a relatively sharp turn to the right for an onramp. while merging with other traffic from another on ramp. Inevitablly somebody is driving in the left lane while I'm in the right. Normally this isn't a problem. But apparently people in Rochester don't know how to drive in their own lane and like to take up both. It's not like I'm going to spontaeously disappear because your car is coming my way. Nor can both of our cars occupy the same space at the same time. I think Newton made some law up like that, I didn't make it up. So don't blame me.

Then I have to lay the horn on because they are definately about 2" away from my car. They then look at me with suprise and disgust all rolled into one. Like I'm not worthy of driving my shitty car next to their 50K car that can't stay in the right lane. Then my lane narrows and merges with the left lane. I have two options: 1) speed up and get over 2) slow down and get over.

Let me just prefece with the fact that the left lane always has a huge string of cars that is never going very fast and doesn't want to let anyone merge with them even though there's no options for the people in the right hand lane. I usually chose option 1 because it will be me to work faster -- which means that driving didn't take as long. Then the car decides to honk at me because I "cut them off" because there were only two car lengths between us -- and I speed off into more cars going slow in the left lane.

I don't know what it is about Rochester NY and people insisting on driving the speed limit in the left lane. I've never been to another city with such a consistent problem with half of the population. It is not okay to drive the speed limit or even 5 miles over the speed limit in the left hand lane of a three or four lane highway. It's just not okay.

Eventually I find my way around the person -- they either eventually get the hint that I want to go faster - or I just pass them on the right. You know whatever works. I'm not so classless as to pass them on the shoulder as I saw some other guy do the other day.

The whole ordeal is a little too much to take at this point. I shoot around everyone and come to a split -- people have to decide to go N or S on the other express way or continue driving straight. The people getting onto the other expressway aren't so much a problem as the people going straight. The left hand lane used to be the second to left hand lane. Which means yet again people are going under the speedlimit on the left -- and no one is in the right lane. So I always choose the path of least resistance and pass all of them on the right. Every once in a while some joker thinks they are being nice by cutting me off in the right hand lane so that I can't pass them on the right. This is NOT OKAY. If you decided to go slow on the left -- that's fine with me -- just stay there. Because now I'm either stuck behind you going slow, or I have to quickly sweve from the right to the left lane, pass you on the left, and sweave back to the right to pass the guy in front of you. Just stay put if you're being annoying and there's a way for me to get around you.

Then I get off the express way were the majority of people turn right. You know, if you're goint ot turn right before the first light -- when you turn left off the expressway -- you might consider getting into that lane first. I also prefer the right lane -- but it's usually slower b/c there are so many people who are going to turn right. So don't think for a minute that's it's cool for you who was in front of me to get into the left lane -- then try to zoom around me -- and cut me off -- then slam on your brakes to turn right at the first intersection. Why the fuck didn't you just get in the right lane to begin with? The only reason I got in the right was because you were in the left and there wouldn't be anyone in front of me on the right. WTF? Make up your mind where you are going. It's not like you have to plan a trip for four to Corisca -- it's just driving to work. You do it every day.

Then I have to pull into my work complex with is again filled with asshats and work for at least 8 hours.

All in all people -- get the fuck out of my way.

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