Realization

I hit me today that it's really not me. I'm not the one that made work suck so much. I'm not the one with the problem. I'm not the reason that everyone is unhappy. I'm not doomed to unending unhappiness. Not all places are as bad as my current job. When I was at Bioinfo I was relatively happy (until Denise turned into a raving bitch b/c she was taking out her unhappiness on me.) I like working with Scott and the kiddies over the summer. I even liked working for that lady that I popped her tire - more than this. It is really raving idiocy to not realize this before now. I really thought that I was the reason I was so unhappy. That I was just doomed to be forever unhappy with having to work in general. But that's not really the issue. It's really just the place I work. They're crazy. Just plain crazy. I could go on for hours about why they are crazy, but to take the step back and just know it's not me... make me feel better.

It also makes me feel better that it takes very little effort on my part to get an interview. When I looked momentarily over the summer -- it only took a couple well placed resumes. This time it took a couple resumes out to places, and a well placed recruiter who found me. Easy as pie. It just makes me feel better to realize that it's not always going to be this bad. It's not me that's the problem, and that someone does want me to work for them.

I'm sure I'd be a huge loss to the organization if I left, scratch that, when I leave. But they know it's inevitable. Hopefully I'll find something I'm much more interested in soon. I made it a year and a half. That means I'm 37.5% vested in my stock options.... which I don't even know if I want to invest in. At least with my 401K there is some transparency there. We get nothing, not even the gross sales numbers.