Lost the upper hand
My boss (for the week at least -- who really knows who I'm supposed to report too, or when my new boss will actual return to being my new boss) the CTO told me straight up that he had seen my resume online. It was a very Bridget Jones' Diary moment. FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!
I posted it about a week ago after a talk with my then new boss (not my acting boss last week.) He had called me into his office earlier in the week for a "brainstorming" session on how the inside sales group would need to change to support all the new sales people we are trying to hire. The majority of the solutions that I offered were basically changing my position from a mainly technical position, to a mainly sales position. Then, later in the week, when we were meeting about something different I made a comment about how I knew I did not want to go into sales. He says "but all the suggestions offered up were basically making your position into more of a sales position." "I know, but that's not what I want to do." "Well, we'll just make [new girl starting in Nov. in my same position] do it." "That's not what she's signed up to -- she signed up to working in my position." Insert really pained look on his face -- real "Oh holy fuck what am I going to do?" And that was the end of the conversation.
This just showed me that yet again the company was not taking my wants into consideration at all -- and that I would be required to "take one for the team." I'm really fucking tired of "taking one of the team" by not going to a trade show I was scheduled for, not getting a day off because I didn't ask early enough -- even though everyone else is allowed to have less than a day's notice and get it off, and even moving into another position because that's what the company needed -- not what I wanted. I'm fucking tired of it -- because it's not like they act like they are grateful -- rather they give absolutely nothing back to me. I'm underpaid and overworked. It's ridiculous. I refuse to take another "one for the team."
Which is why I started looking for another job. A person can only take so much.
The odd thing is -- that I'm actually really emotion about the whole thing -- and not just pissed off. A lot of it stems from the fact that I either feel like a failure for not being able to "make it," and part of it is coming to the realization that the company really doesn't give a shit about me -- which makes me sad. I just feel like I made a huge mistakes by picking this company -- and it's hard to face. I think in the last year I've learned more about what I dont' want, than what is possible out in the world.
At least I got to go to Paris.
I posted it about a week ago after a talk with my then new boss (not my acting boss last week.) He had called me into his office earlier in the week for a "brainstorming" session on how the inside sales group would need to change to support all the new sales people we are trying to hire. The majority of the solutions that I offered were basically changing my position from a mainly technical position, to a mainly sales position. Then, later in the week, when we were meeting about something different I made a comment about how I knew I did not want to go into sales. He says "but all the suggestions offered up were basically making your position into more of a sales position." "I know, but that's not what I want to do." "Well, we'll just make [new girl starting in Nov. in my same position] do it." "That's not what she's signed up to -- she signed up to working in my position." Insert really pained look on his face -- real "Oh holy fuck what am I going to do?" And that was the end of the conversation.
This just showed me that yet again the company was not taking my wants into consideration at all -- and that I would be required to "take one for the team." I'm really fucking tired of "taking one of the team" by not going to a trade show I was scheduled for, not getting a day off because I didn't ask early enough -- even though everyone else is allowed to have less than a day's notice and get it off, and even moving into another position because that's what the company needed -- not what I wanted. I'm fucking tired of it -- because it's not like they act like they are grateful -- rather they give absolutely nothing back to me. I'm underpaid and overworked. It's ridiculous. I refuse to take another "one for the team."
Which is why I started looking for another job. A person can only take so much.
The odd thing is -- that I'm actually really emotion about the whole thing -- and not just pissed off. A lot of it stems from the fact that I either feel like a failure for not being able to "make it," and part of it is coming to the realization that the company really doesn't give a shit about me -- which makes me sad. I just feel like I made a huge mistakes by picking this company -- and it's hard to face. I think in the last year I've learned more about what I dont' want, than what is possible out in the world.
At least I got to go to Paris.
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