Baby Finances

I have never ever felt as marginazlied as I have at work so far today. It is almost unfathomable. Part of me is mad, part of me is just really sad. I feel as if no solutions are being created. The problem exists -- but instead of facing it and doing something about it; the company ignores it and just hopes it goes away. I guess this is just another straw on the camel's back -- which just makes it ever apparent that there aren't many other options other than start looking for another job. It's funny how much has changed, yet how little. I feel as if I have done the best I can in the circumstances -- yet I am neither appriciated and only berated for mistakes. I don't know how to jump up and down any louder to get any relief. 6 months ago I felt like there were opportunities for me to advance in the company and in my career. In the last 3 months it seems as if all doors have been closed and I am only viewed in my current capacity rather than seeing my potential. ...

Joshy and I are planning a bender weekend for July 4th. At least I'm planning on a bender at his house -- I'm not sure what he's planning. Anyone wanna join? Nothing really exciting in my life has been going on lately -- thus the lack of posts. Though I have been biking a lot lately. I really like biking -- and have almost forgotten how much I like it. There are some really amazing bike/walking paths by my house that are like 10's of miles long and inter-connect with other paths. So I can easily go on an 1.5-2 hour ride and not hit a dead-end or some non-off the beatten path trail. It's really nice. This does have avoidable side effects like my slightly crispy shoulders are a 2 hour ride on Saturday. It's really obnoixious, mainly, because my bra straps go right over the burnt area. So all of you that do not wear bras or -- bro's or whatever Krammer on "Seinfeld" called the man-bra, let's just say it's like having someone poke and...

Anyone wanna go on vacation with me. I don't mean in like a month or two -- I mean like next week or the week after. I need a break from work. Vacation sounds like a good idea. Anyone up for Paris next weekend? I think I might have a sinus infection too -- this blows!

As of next Wednesday we will have 56 people working at my company. Let's just say I was the 37th employee about 10.5 months ago. That's almost 10 employees in less than a year. And people wonder why work is difficult -- there really is that much growth that needs to be managed. Though I think I've come up with a good analogy lately (and explination for my increasingly bad attitude at work.) I like to compare management with parenting. Parents tell their kids what is right and wrong, give them goals and guidelines for how they should live their lives, and let them go live it and just give guidance along the way. My work, however, is missing that critical 2nd step -- there is little goals or guidance given -- so it is hard to grow. It's like having a parent constantly yell at you -- but not knowing their expectations. It's difficult. *Sigh* it's hard to think back about what I've done in the last year -- and realized what/how little I've really acco...

Well folks, another person at my company left over the weekend (clearly gave no warning.) She is going to a place where the management style is "more conventional." Peace! That makes it 19 people since I've started 10 months ago. And people wonder why it's so hard to get anything done. Because NO ONE know's what they're doing!!!!! Joshy, you still appling for jobs in California? I think it might be in my best interest to join you in that quest.

Seriously am I? Is it bad to want it all and not want/be willing to settle? I feel like I'm too young to settle -- that life is all still out there for me to explore. Why shouldn't I have it all? I know I like things a certain way, but is that bad? I always thought of it as being decisive -- actually knowing what I want. The hard part is not knowing precisely what you want -- and then not knowing if you are settling or not. It's a tough call.