Re-evaluation
Being at work all day -- and then not having any responsibilities to anyone or anything outside of it -- is rather refreshing at first -- but also allows much introspective time. Which in my case of over analysizing the things that should not be over analyzed -- and not analyzing at all the things that should be looked at more closely. I am thus left with a variety of ideas floating around in my mind of what I should really be doing with my free time. There are so many things that I have started on a whim and never finished -- or got to be really good and talented at something and then stopped (let's not even try to start analyzing any of those instances.) I need more focus in my life -- daily I feel like an ADD kid running around in an amusement park -- so many things to do -- but I can't do them all in a day -- so I pick a few and end up ultimately disappointed that I picked the things I did -- and chose not to do the things I didn't. It's not like if I had chosen to do the things I didn't instead of the things I did -- that I would be any happier -- I would still be sad that I didn't get to do everything. It's not like I"m obsessed with quantity over quality either. I would definately choose to be amazing at somethign rather than mediocre at a number of things. But even if I was amazing at something (which again is another sore point in my life) I would still be disappointed that I'm not amazing at everything. It's like once you see the potential -- it's then even more difficult to look at your life and realize where you have failed.
Thus -- for the upteenth time I feel as if my life needs (another) re-evaluation -- not only of what I am spending my time on -- but what are my goals (not just career goals) and what do I really want to be doing (that's easy -- traveling -- a lot) and what do I need to change in order to get there. It shoulds like I have a plan -- is what I am to do once something is lack -- it's find the thing that's lacking that's most difficult. It all boils down to that old saying "You can't miss what you havent known." It's always good to take stock of your life -- and look at what you have and what you want. Not only to work on your goals -- but to appriciate what you do have. I think a lot of people do the first part -- but forget the second. I seem to have a problem with the first -- but not the second. (this is not the post to preach about how everyone needs to take a step back and appricate their life and what they have.)
I feel so unmotivated lately -- and I hate that depressed crappy feeling -- as if nothing will ever get better -- because logically I know that I do not have it bad -- and most likely it will not get any worse -- and I am the obsticle between my life getting better and my current life. The fact that I'm not doing anything of use outside of work lately just makes it worse. I need somethnig to snap me out of it. (Vacation anyone?) I don't know if I need a physical "snap" so much as a mental one -- which could be achieved anywhere.
It's snowing here right now -- maybe making a snowman this weekend will help. If anyone wants to come up and go skiing let me know -- it should be a good ski weekend -- or if anyone is planning on going skiing and would like to invite me along -- I'm game.
Oh and on a completely un-related note -- after I tore my bicep a few weeks ago I thought it was getting better -- but the last two days I lifted at the gym -- it's been kind of achy. Does anyone know if this is normal? I think I need to talk to my doctor.... sucks.
Thus -- for the upteenth time I feel as if my life needs (another) re-evaluation -- not only of what I am spending my time on -- but what are my goals (not just career goals) and what do I really want to be doing (that's easy -- traveling -- a lot) and what do I need to change in order to get there. It shoulds like I have a plan -- is what I am to do once something is lack -- it's find the thing that's lacking that's most difficult. It all boils down to that old saying "You can't miss what you havent known." It's always good to take stock of your life -- and look at what you have and what you want. Not only to work on your goals -- but to appriciate what you do have. I think a lot of people do the first part -- but forget the second. I seem to have a problem with the first -- but not the second. (this is not the post to preach about how everyone needs to take a step back and appricate their life and what they have.)
I feel so unmotivated lately -- and I hate that depressed crappy feeling -- as if nothing will ever get better -- because logically I know that I do not have it bad -- and most likely it will not get any worse -- and I am the obsticle between my life getting better and my current life. The fact that I'm not doing anything of use outside of work lately just makes it worse. I need somethnig to snap me out of it. (Vacation anyone?) I don't know if I need a physical "snap" so much as a mental one -- which could be achieved anywhere.
It's snowing here right now -- maybe making a snowman this weekend will help. If anyone wants to come up and go skiing let me know -- it should be a good ski weekend -- or if anyone is planning on going skiing and would like to invite me along -- I'm game.
Oh and on a completely un-related note -- after I tore my bicep a few weeks ago I thought it was getting better -- but the last two days I lifted at the gym -- it's been kind of achy. Does anyone know if this is normal? I think I need to talk to my doctor.... sucks.
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